Obviously your wedding day will be one of the highlights of your life. You are making a covenant between God and your spouse, the one God has chosen for you to walk hand in hand with throughout the ups and downs of life. Two sinners coming together to glorify Christ is beyond beautiful, and it should be taken extremely seriously. But I’m trying to get a point across. In today’s society, it has become all about the wedding, not about the marriage. Girls are more excited to be a bride, rather than a wife. The flowers have to be perfect, the venue has to be remarkable, and if everything doesn’t go exactly the way you planned, what’s even the point, right? Weddings have become this obsession of the small details that don’t even matter.
If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. (Colossians 3:1-2 ESV)
I’ve only been married for four months now, so don’t get me wrong–this is not a blog telling you how to have the perfect marriage because I’m a newbie here myself. But it is a public service announcement to all the men and women out there who think the best day of your life will be your wedding day. In many ways, it will be; but in even more ways, it won’t… And honestly, I really hope it’s not.
On my wedding day, my brother said in his Best Man speech he wishes every day after our wedding will get better and better, that the bond and love we have for one another will continue to flourish and grow beyond our wildest dreams. We will learn to cherish each other, to annoy each other (on purpose), to keep Christ at the center, and to experience life in a way you cannot do alone. So if each day gets better and better, it would make my wedding day the worst day of my life. And honestly, that makes sense. It’s easy to get caught up in the good times, but having that person there five, ten, and even twenty years later when you are in the darkest of times, now that’s something to be rejoiced.
I had the wedding of my “dreams,” as some would say, and that’s fine. I’m not saying you can’t have a nice wedding. After all, you are vowing to someone for the rest of your life, and that should be celebrated. The truth is, your wedding day will go by so fast, it’ll mostly be a blur. Everything you had planned for is instantly gone, and for those who are so wrapped up in the glamour, you’ll think, “what now?” Brides, soon-to-be brides, and young girls who hope to one day be married, we need to constantly be asking ourselves: where is my heart? Am I so wrapped up in having the “perfect” wedding my vision is becoming blurred to what’s really important?
Your big day should definitely be special, but not on the world’s terms.
Becoming one is an incredible gift from our Father in Heaven, and yes, the wedding day is amazing–people gathering together to witness two broken people, a man and a woman, joining into a covenant with God and each other, for better and for worse, for death do them part. But your wedding is just one day… Your marriage is a lifetime.
Marry that person who preaches you the Gospel every day. Who challenges you in your walk with Christ. Who loves God more than he loves you. Who dies to you every day, putting your needs above his own. Who loves you like Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25-33). And be the wife who rejoices in God’s truth. Who willfully submits to her calling–to love and cherish her husband, to be his support system, and to faithfully stand by his side until death do you part (Ephesians 5:22-24). Be a wife who fears the Lord and is patient and understanding through all of life’s struggles (Proverbs 31).
Your greatest joy in life should be to glorify God in everything you do, and in marriage, you get to do that together. Your wedding day should proclaim the joy He has given you–it should be a display of the Gospel, that you were once broken and dead in your trespasses, but now you have been given new life in Him. And you get to live that out with your spouse. What a beautiful thing! John Piper said in his book, This Momentary Marriage,
“Marriage is for the display of Christ’s covenant… God gets glory when two very different and imperfect people forge a life of faithfulness in the furnace of affliction by relying on Christ.”
So stop idolizing weddings, and start setting your heart on the things above.
Grace & Peace,
Picture Credit: Jessica Elle Photography